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Ca.1824 satirical letter attacking Andrew Jackson using a pseudo-phrenological analysis during his presidential campaign.
Ca.1824 satirical letter attacking Andrew Jackson using a pseudo-phrenological analysis during his presidential campaign.

Ca.1824 satirical letter attacking Andrew Jackson using a pseudo-phrenological analysis during his presidential campaign.

The future King Andrew the First, murdered by words alone…


Excellent American satire. This manuscript savagely critiques Andrew Jackson’s character based on an imaginary phrenological reading.

Using phrenology to lampoon Jackson was not unknown: political cartoons in David Claypoole Johnston’s 1834 Illustrations of phrenology being one example.

By employing the pseudo-scientific categories of phrenology—“bumpology”—this anonymous writer describes Jackson’s unsuitability for high office. Incidents from Jackson’s military service in the American Revolution, and the War of 1812, are used to discredit him as are his unsavory land and “negroe [sic] speculations.” He is defined as quick to quarrel, a drunk, and violent.

The narrator’s attack on Jackson’s public life even takes aim at his greatest triumph, the Battle of New Orleans. Jackson’s victory is tarnished by his mistreatment of his soldiers, some of whom were executed. (This angle of attack would feature prominently in the 1828 presidential election re-match between Jackson and John Quincy Adams.)

The satirist invalidates Jackson’s candidacy by not naming him. His “scientific” analysis of Jackson is presented as detached and rational:

Mr. Editor. ... At first I was disposed to laugh at my friend when he handed me the supposed development of a celebrated character the more so as I was somewhat of a sceptic on Phrenology. He soon silenced my doubts on the latter score and made me as staunch a believer in bumpology as [Franz Joseph] Gall himself. It put me in possession of a key that can unlock a man’s mind, it gave me the power of reading in the convolutions of the brain, what course it will pursue through the winding way of life, and with equal certainty reflect a man’s actions back to the source from whence they spring and gives me a view of his cranium as distinct as if it were really before my eyes. I then read his statement, or prediction a second time and thought it too good to be lost my reason for sending it to you. I wonder that in this scientific age the great man’s biographers should have neglected a good description of his scull. It was all important if they expected or wished for a craniologist vote. If they had done that it would have been more to their satisfaction would have gone farther to convince them of the good or evil of his actions that all their proofs from the affidavits of their respectable men down to the affidavits of their editors.

This rhetorical set-up is followed by a detailed 33-point “phrenological” analysis of Andrew Jackson. Standard phrenological terms and categories are paired with an incident from Jackson’s life or an observation on his character:

1 Amativeness–full–because of his affair with Mr. Roberts. 2 Philoprogenitiveness–small–he stabbed his nephew–inference–a man who would draw the blood of so near a relation would care but little for his of spring [offspring]. ...4 Adhesiveness–small–because he has ever been at war with his friends; see Benton’s account before he became his partizan [sic]. 5 Combativeness–large– his quarrellous [sic] life has justly given him the title of “Hero of an Hundred frays” rather than of “two wars.” 6 Destructiveness–tremendous–rendering his scull diaphanous–reference –His bloody acts–militia men–Indians–Englishmen–victims of single combat–croped [sic] ears–cockfights… 8 Acquisitiveness–very large–reference–land speculations, negroe [sic] speculations, large bills for the treasury to settle–patriotically receiving a large salary for remaining at home and the like. 9 Secretiveness, moderate. because in the war, in which he first played the hero [the American Revolution], he was missed at the battle of Cowpens [1781], he screened himself behind cotton bags at [the Battle of] New Orleans [1815] (no disparagement) and “keeps very dark” as respects Aaron Burr’s affair. ...15 Hope–large–because he does not despair of the Presidential chair. ...18 Firmness–small–Decatur. ... 25 Time–very small–because he says he imbibed his views of the constitution during the time and of the sages of the revolution–He suffers himself to be palmed upon the uninformed as a hero of the revolution–perhaps the latter ought to be referred to secretiveness or ideality. ... 28 Language–small–Verbom sot [Verbum sot? i.e. drunkenness]. 29 Comparison–small–he with a Washington an Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monro [sic], and not to hide his head in shame proves this deficient. ... 33 Wonder–small–or he would be astonished that some men of sense have the hardihood [sic] to support him.

The assault winds down by drawing one “scientific” conclusion: voters must elect John Quincy Adams:

Every Phrenologist must vote for J.Q.A. a development that pleases them in every respect and with which they can safely trust their country. Give us a map of your great man’s scull we ask no more. The portraits that we see of him [Jackson] must certainly be meant for caricature, that long face placed often by the side of a horse’s [i.e. an army horse’s], I suppose for comparison to show he claims at least one quality of a noble animal, will not do if it be a likeness, and he should be our president, the lord help all phrenologists.

Here, in approximately 850 words, the future King Andrew the First is murdered by words alone.


Description: Ca.1824 satirical letter attacking Andrew Jackson using a pseudo-phrenological analysis during his presidential campaign.

[Np. c.1824]. [2]pp. Unpublished? Complete? Folio, wove paper. Strikethroughs and emendations. Small closed tears with expert tissue mends; some worm tracking affects text, not sense; else very good.

[3724582]

Notes: Purchased amongst the papers and publications of Mathew Carey, this indefatigable political commentator may have authored this satire with its text copied out as a fair copy at his behest. The manuscript’s opens with a humorous quote referring to an emetic: “Come on! begin the grand attack / With syrup, squill, and ipicac [sic].” This couplet is attributed to “Christopher Caustic,” the pseudonym of poet-journalist, Thomas Green Fessenden (1771–1837). It is found within Fessenden’s satire Terrible Tractorian (1803).


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